Autumn Hollow

Well, we are still waiting to hear about the chemo subsidy. I did get a call from the vet at the chemo clinic. Chester's vet took his charts and application over to her the night before last. She told us that he has to be got in right away if anything is to be done, all the time making sure I understood that this is not a cure. There are two chemo options. The state of the art chemo could give him up to a year with two treatments to the tune of about $9000.00. This administers five different drugs. What she didn't say was that it also has the potential to really make him sick. The second, I guess less state of the art chemo, administers one drug and will give him maybe three to four months. Without these treatments he is less than likely to make it to Christmas. So Brad and I talked yesterday and decided that we have to give him the most time that we can manage. So I booked him in for the lesser chemo treatment on Monday. It will be costly at about $2000.00 but we just figure if we don't bother doing the whole Christmas thing and cut waaaaaay back on a lot of stuff we will manage. How can we not? How do you say to yourself "this little guy's life is not worth a few sacrifices." Each of the smiles and laughs that he has given us is worth that and more. I don't laugh or smile that easily. I am still trying to wrap my head around the reality of the whole thing. It looks like one of the cats is also sick and I'll tell ya...there are mornings that I just sit here and stare out the window as dawn creeps across the sky and wonder "what next?".
Jim, my brother, kept saying to me yesterday, just hold on to the thought that miracles happen. Hold onto hope. I suppose if I didn't I would have crumpled years ago. My sister said, "They say God only gives you what you can handle, but I think that's crap".
I would tend to agree. You can load a man up with a boulder more than his own body weight and force him to climb a mountain and if you are cruel enough or threaten someone that he loves he will do it. (I hear that was a neat Nazi trick). Does that make it right? Nope. It makes it torture. Like some sort of sick experiment just to see what happens. When you add in the factor that this type of canine illness is more often than not caused by herbicides, the rage can be pretty hard to contain.
Anyway, there is a portrait of Chester as a little angel up at the Etsy shop. Sales will go to Chester's treatment. So, if you know anyone who likes puppies and angels, maybe this would make a great gift to them and it will help to give Chester a little more time to create a little more joy as well as bringing a bit of blessing to your life.
www.etsy.com/shop/AutumnDomoslai?ref=seller_info
Meanwhile, Chester is sleeping here beside me. He ate lots of his food yesterday and played lots with his puck. His breathing is a little short at night and he sleeps a lot more during the day. I think I wake up about fifty times a night to listen or check. I'm off to make his breakfast along with all the others. Here's hoping for a decent day.